Hi everyone, my name is Chan Man. I came to COOS’ Healing Rooms in Jan 2016 because of my uncontrolled behaviour during worship sessions. My struggles began on the 6 December 2015. It all started one night, when I was in a youth camp in my previous church. That night, the preacher was sharing about surrendering our lives to God for His kingdom purpose. In response, I prayed and surrendered my life to God but little did I know that the prayer of faith became the turning point for my spiritual life. After the prayer, I started to cry, and the cries became louder and louder until I started screaming in the whole auditorium. That was the first time I manifested.
My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. Growing up I have always lacked a father’s love in my life. And because of that, I found myself having infatuations towards a few adult female figures in my childhood who were nicer and more personal towards me that made me felt loved. I later found out the reason for these infatuations is because of the lack of love from my parents when I came for the healing sessions here in COOS, it was a secret struggle till then. That year when I knew God more, I felt even more troubled, fearing that I would become a lesbian one day.
It was this fear and struggle that I laid before God that night in prayer at the youth camp. I asked for forgiveness and for God to take away these feelings. I told God that I wanted to serve him with my life. Right after my prayer, the manifestations took place, daily and continued week after week. Church leaders were at a loss to help me as the manifestations became violent at times. There was a critical period where I had to stay away from school and church because the manifestations would not stop. I wasn’t able to speak or behave properly. During this time, I went to a pastor who was known to be gifted in the area of healing; I received partial healing and was able to get back to my normal state just in time for my exams.
But just as I thought it was over, when I went back to church, the spirits were triggered and I manifested again. I was disappointed as I couldn’t go school and even stopped going to church. Although during each worship session, I was disrupted by the manifestations, I didn’t feel distant from God because God encouraged me through His word each time when I felt like giving up.
Due to my condition, it was decided that I should join a new cell here in COOS. Initially, I was against it and the transition period from my previous church to COOS really affected me for quite some time. I was disappointed with how people that I held so closely to my heart just left me because of my situation. Having to stop fellowship suddenly with my old cell was really tough. However, along the way God taught me what it means to get out of my comfort zone, and to just trust in where He was going to lead me to. Through it all, God was the only one that remained faithful. Each time I came for service in COOS, God spoke to me, in one way or another and I experienced His presence constantly. This led me to change my heart and I decided to stay in COOS where God wanted me to be.
Meanwhile I came to COOS’ healing rooms to gradually seek healing. Throughout the sessions, week in week out, I was tired emotionally, physically and spiritually as the manifestations were vigorous. At times, I felt so weak and as I sought God in His word, He lifted me and gave me the strength to keep going on. Each time after the ministry sessions, I left the session with much peace in my heart.
Finally, on the 15 August, I received the best birthday gift ever. I saw Jesus appear to me in a bright light. I clearly remember seeing myself walking towards the cross, walking out of a room filled with darkness, into a room of light. Beside the cross, Jesus was standing there, waiting for me, He was calling me to make my way towards Him. When I finally reached Him, He brought me before the cross. I went into the arms of Jesus, I was filled with so much joy and indescribable peace. The vision was a prayer answered on that night when I surrendered myself to God. I surrendered my sins and burdens and received His peace, joy and love. When I opened my eyes after the vision, I knew in my spirit that my wounds and pain from the past were all healed and taken away by God.
I thank God for breakthroughs in each ministry session. I have forgiven my parents especially my earthly father and I am restored by my heavenly Father’s love that I discovered throughout the healing sessions.
I thank God for His love that sets me free from the brokenness, rejection and traumas I faced as a child. I was also set free from the occult spirits that were in me, passed on by my ancestors who were involved in occult practices.
As I look back today, my heart is filled with thankfulness towards God. Though it has been tough, He made me even tougher and He has seen me through such a fruitful season. I am aware that I will still face many obstacles in the future but one thing I’m sure now is that God will always be with me. After all, I have now seen and tasted the God who has and will hold my life together both now and forever more:-)
Chan Man, 2016